It's been months since I've blogged. Literally months. I had Millie check for me the other day, I haven't posted since October 5, 2010. So much has happened since then, some of which Millie managed to blog about already. I started working for Intermountain Healthcare in the registration department, we had a great Halloween, Turkey Day, Christmas and New Years. We celebrated Aayla's first birthday and we've done a few more projects on the new home. I've also moved into my third semester of grad school and it has been a cold, cold winter.
But this post isn't about any of that really.
I've been thinking about how all our lives are connected sometimes, which can often go unnoticed, or at least not acknowledged. Over the past few months I've had time to observe many things around me in a way that I usually don't notice, either because I'm not in a position to notice them, or because much of what goes on in the lives of others is not necessarily common knowledge or publicly available. I think some people experience that same effect (of disregard) by being on the other end of the spectrum of individual privacy and public domain. You know what I'm talking about, where every waking second of life is publicly posted on Twitter, Facebook or your own blog. No, I'm not bashing you if you are one of "those people." This is just an observation - a hypothesis.
Over the past few months of PT school, being married to a NICU nurse and myself working in health care, compounded by a flood of news from friends and family around me (some good, some heartbreaking) I have noticed how easy it is to get disconnected to those around you, even those closest to you. What I mean is, EVERY day there are people struggling just to make it another minute, while there are others at the top of the world celebrating all that life has given them. Sure most fall somewhere in between, but we all fit in there somewhere. There are those that struggle or celebrate as a result of themselves, and there are those that experience a magnified version of pain/joy through their children. Those of you with children know exactly what I mean.
Every night that Millie works she tends newborns that have come to this world with a slew of maladies that have each one of them fighting for life. Some aren't as severe as others and go home in a matter of hours or even months, and some, even after weeks or moths of truly intensive care, never get to leave the NICU alive. Millie doesn't get to share a lot of what goes on at work, mostly because of HIPPA laws, and I share the same constraints, but she shares enough. Enough to see what a great nurse and caregiver she is. Not only to the tiny ones she tends all night, but to the mothers and fathers that come in to spend whatever time they can with their own child. Some of you know what it's like to have a child in the NICU, or even the hospital, or even just in need of help - medically, physically, emotionally, etc.... Many of you know the feeling of being willing to give whatever you can, and even barter with God or the Devil just to keep your child from suffering anymore - or prevent a future suffering.
I like to believe that most people are grateful for people like Millie, but recently, I'm not so sure of it. And it may be a result of what I just explained - most of us, if not all of us, are living our own lives and fail to truly notice what is constantly going on around us. Every individual is the star of his or her own show in life and if ever they step outside their own limelight it is only for their children - and even that is temporary. I have been amazed to hear and witness some of the judgments that Millie has received lately for what they
think she does. I think in the midst of being wrapped up in their own lives, many people have mislabeled what it is she does; whether it is intended to be hurtful or not, I know she suffers for it. This is not a post to defend only my wife but everyone in her situation and everyone who wishes to be be like her.
Many people see only the fact that she is "putting her husband through school" or "working" or "missing time being a mother" or "neglecting her 'eternal' calling" or "failing in the home" or "not being a 'good' mother".... unfortunately, the list of things I've heard goes on. Millie worked hard through nursing school. She chose that career because it was what she actually wanted to do - despite whatever other monetary benefits accompany being a nurse, the act of being a nurse compelled her. She loves what she does and she excels at it! Yes she is awake and away all night (while the kids sleep) and she loses sleep during the days following, and sometimes the kids get a little neglected by her now and again, and she can't do some of the things other "stay-at-home" moms can do because of her schedule. However, these few facts remain:
1) She loves what she does.
2) Whether you realize and accept it or not, she (like SO many others like her) is
sacrificing for
your loved ones,
your children,
your mothers, fathers, etc... She has earned the education and puts in the hours to ensure care is, and can be, given when it's needed the most.
3) If anything ever happens to me, I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind that she, and our children will be cared for (financially
and maternally) - because she's been proving that every day for at least the past two years.
4) After I graduate, she will continue to keep up her license, work and continue her education, because she loves what she does, and frankly, there is a need for more people like her.
So this post is also in defense of those who wish to continue their education and be in a position to help others. And not just nursing, but any profession (educators, public safety, health care, heck - pretty much anything really) where self (and family) sacrifice means a better life for others - others like you and your children.
I don't really want any comments to this post, I only want the bad judgments to stop - not that the majority of those who need to read this will ever read it. I hope that those that are "blessed" enough to have a life that allows them to stay at home all day don't forget that there are those like Millie that are sacrificing 'that life' for a greater good, for
your good. And please, support those that desire to do the same!
Thank you for all you do Millie!
