The Epitome of Idiocy

Inca Kola: Nectar of the gods.

For those of you unfamiliar with this beverage it is pure bottled deliciousness. A product of the Coca Cola Company, most popular in South America, more specifically Ecuador and Peru. Although it is available in some areas of the United States, much like Original Coke in a can or plastic bottle, nothing beats the flavor of the Latin American bottled beverage. Maybe it's the reused returnable glass bottle it comes in, maybe it's the small changes in ingredients (like REAL sugar), or maybe it's the fact that one must travel some 3,000 miles just to get one!



It had been almost ten solid years since my last Inca Kola (REAL Inca Kola, from a glass bottle), when the sun decided to shine down on me in the form of my sister-in-law going down to Ecuador to serve in a Cuenca orphanage for three months. She safely returned the day before Thanksgiving - made all the more thankful by presenting me with not one, not two, but THREE real glass bottled Inca Kolas! Drinking them had to wait; one must savor the IDEA of drinking such a liquid - plus the fact that I had been suffering from a two month long sinus infection, which prevented me from tasting anything, it'd be pointless to drink under such conditions.

So, I decided to bide my time.

Finally, the sinuses cleared (with the help of antibiotics) and my sense of taste (and of course smell) returned. I popped the top of bottle number one, fresh out of the fridge. Ahhhhhhh. Refreshment! Millie and Ellery helped finish it off (mostly Ellery though) and I decided number two would have to be drunk sometime after Ellery went to bed.

Aside from the fact that I only got to drink about half the bottle there was something else missing. The Inca Kola I remember (when I lived in Ecuador) was always ICE cold. We used to put one or two in our sorry excuse for a freezer each morning and by nightfall it was just cold enough. How cold is enough? You know that point where the sealed liquid is still liquid - but the moment you pop the top and it is exposed to air and the sudden change in pressure the entire drink slushes up? THAT was the level of cold I loved. I decided to try and recreate just that for number two.

Unfortunately, this is were I - yes, I - become the epitome of idiocy.

Last night I put the bottle in our freezer - made a mental note to take it out in an hour or two - and went about my evening activities. Ellery was in bed, Millie was playing the Wii and I was catching up on some light reading. Time passed (and lots of it). Millie and I started watching a show about Mt. Vesuvius on the History Channel. About halfway into it - amid the images and sounds of volcanic eruptions - we heard a loud "bang" or "pop" sound coming from our freezer. Without the slightest clue as to what it could have been, I investigated.

Oh the moronic consequence of the distracted! Adding insult to injury (not only could I no longer enjoy bottle number two - AND my collectible bottle now lied in shards strewn about our freezer - I had the blessed duty of cleaning it up. It was like having to scrape your puppy off the road after accidentally running it over. Despite Millie's objections, I gathered what little bit of slush remained (mostly) free of glass and ate it.

I think I'll set a timer for bottle number three.